Sometimes, I suddenly realise something blatantly obvious, something which was always somehow in my awareness but I'd never really realised. I'm guessing this is fairly common, for example, often I have asked a friend for the definition of a word, only for them to give me examples of how to use it in a sentence without knowing what it actually means. Or being a group of people discussing something common when that one person gets the "ooooooh, of course," look on their face then sits stupidly quiet for some time.
Recently, this was me realising that I've always been a 'majority'. Of course, statistically, this is not unusual. I identify as a well established gender which happens to match my biology, my sexual orientation is mostly heterosexual, and I'm a middle class caucasian from a predominantly caucasian country. Nothing in my life has been especially difficult, I seem to fit the boxes society lays out without too much issue. I mean sure, I support my husband financially and work as a full time scientist, which is only possible as a woman in recent times. But it's not unheard of, strange, or makes me appear inferior in any way. It certainly doesn't make me feel like an outsider to society.
My parents are the most tolerant and supportive people I know, I am 99% certain they would accept me however I am. Especially given their 'hands-off' approach to parenting, involving largely letting us kids work out for ourselves how the world works and what we want from it. Although I'm pretty sure they'd be upset if I suddenly started murdering people, I'm also pretty sure they'd still love me. So it isn't like I was trying to fit into my parent's view of how I should be.
My friends throughout life, although largely female, came from a variety of countries and circumstances. I am probably the most 'normal' of the group, so it isn't like I was fitting my peer's view of how I should be.
It'd be nice to say that I'm unaffected by media, but of course it's total bullshit. Did I gravitate towards the societal norm because mainstream media said I should? Even though I was immersed in media from India, China, Japan, Indonesia, USA, UK and Australia while growing up? (Remember those tolerant parents? Yeah they were the international type, and weren't afraid to expose us to a variety of cultures while growing up. I highly recommend it, btw).
But maybe it wasn't external. I certainly didn't choose to be born a white middle class Australian. I did choose to be a foreigner living in Japan, so I expected being a minority in this case; is that why it doesn't bother me when I can't communicate with strangers, or get looked at? Little kids yelling out "Otou-san, mitte! Amerika-jin desu!!" (I usually smile and wave, the kids get super shy and the parents get super embarrassed hehe. Once my Japanese is better, I hope to respond "Jitsuwa, Australia-jin desu! Nihon-jin desuka?" or maybe something wittier)
So, I didn't choose to be normal. And, as I said, statistically speaking it is the most likely outcome. Yet, minorities dominate many of my thoughts. When I meet someone, I ask if they have a partner instead of a girl/boy friend because they may not fit the 'normal' gender/sexuality bimorphism. I ask someone where they're from or where they've been despite their skin colour; you can't assume someone who looks Chinese was born in China. (And, I am terrible at picking accents, so I do need to ask). Despite those statistics saying what the norm is, I'm still frightened of highlighting some minority in a way that could be perceived as negative. Why is that?
The downside of being a majority most of the time is the naïvete. I recently saw a video from my home country of a French woman being verbally abused on public transport, for speaking French. She also spoke English, so I don't know exactly what got the yobbos so riled up, but it really shocked and disturbed me. My friend, who happens to be half Thai, wasn't shocked at all. During her public transport travels she has been hollered at, grabbed at, and even spit on. Because she's not white? Are you serious? This ... This actually happens? I don't want to call myself Australian after hearing that. Confirmations came in from all my slightly less than majority friends. Whilst anecdote doesn't make data, it does bring to my attention an aspect of life that I have never had to deal with. And while I don't wish it upon anyone, I hope to never experience feeling like I'm an inferior human being. Well, not by anyone but myself, anyway.
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