Ups and Downs

It was a long weekend recently, I thought - great! I can take a break from work, go out, feel relaxed, right?

Saturday was stressful because we went grocery shopping and overspent. Not just by a bit, but by a lot. It was so easy to justify at the time, a lot of it is things we won't need to buy again for a long time (such as garbage bags and toilet paper), but now I'm like... Money is tightly budgeted, and I just went ahead with this huge blowout? What's wrong with me? I will whinge about finances another time, though.
It was a nice drive anyhow.

On Sunday, we went out with a couple of friends from work to climb a mountain! Before we went, I was all "Pfft, it's not so hard, it's not even a proper hike. 90 minutes! No problem!"

Fuck that. It's been 6 months since I did more than walk to work, sure I've lost a little weight but climbing a Goddamn mountain? What was I thinking? I feel sorry for the people we went with, who had to wait for me. I took 3 hours to do a 90 minute walk. I also managed to slip a few times and coat myself in slushy muddy ice. It was unpleasant and took several days for my hips to recover.

I didn't take this picture. But the weather was the same, so I'm sure I could have if I bothered to take my camera and find a nice place and set up and actually, y'know, try. Surely.

But you know, it was a very beautiful day, and it also was a fantastic exercise in positive thinking to get myself up there! I intend to return again. Someday.

Monday was thankfully the public holiday. National Day, or something, I didn't care enough to find out. Anyway I sat on the couch and whinged and played games and watched telly. I hope I am not fat when I'm old, it was a terrible experience having sore joints to lug around my huge mass to do simple tasks like using the toilet. Miserable day.

Tuesday rolls around, and I think - this is it! I'm going to get up early, do some stretching to speed my recovery, eat a wholesome breakfast, and do a full day's satisfying work!

Instead, I woke up before the alarm and stayed in bed an extra two hours. No, not sleeping, just... Laying there. Actually repeat that process for yesterday and today. And all day at work, I'm moping about, counting the minutes, wishing to go home. As soon as I'm home, I'm counting the minutes until I can say 'bed time!' and constantly wishing for the future to come. What's so bad about the present?

Did somebody say 'present'?!

This is one of those times when I should probably attempt some form of CBT. Work out what's making me feel down, and look for evidence that it's actually a downer. Find ways to solve or at least cope with the problem. Instead, I'm going to waste time on reddit and feel like even more of a loser when I get hardly any work done today. Anyway, it's worth noting that my period is due shortly, so maybe I'll wait until hormones have fucked off before trying anything. Yeah. I'll do that.